I’m back after a long hiatus, so let’s go through a checklist of stuff that I expected to happen during my absence:
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Staged shot of LeBron with trophy
Cavs win the NBA Championship – I’m still trying to figure out if this actually happened, or if it was some kind of fever dream I experienced due to the unbearable stress of watching Game 7. My daughter claims she went to a parade in downtown Cleveland, but that could have been part of a bogus production staged by the government to keep everyone calm during the RNC (remember the so-called “Moon Walk” in ’69?)
- Donald Trump abandons presidential bid following coup d’état in Cleveland – No such luck… and no amount of time away from work can erase the horror of knowing that respectable journalists (as well as this writer) might soon be required to use the term “President Trump.”
- Legends of Shriv-Rock finally call it quits – Then there’s the horror of Viagra… Not only are future tour dates planned for the septuagenarians in The Rolling Stones and The Who, but Mick Jagger is expecting a child with his 29-year-old girlfriend. To borrow a phrase from my grandson: Ewwww!
Recent changes continue to make the game of baseball less time-consuming – Yes, those would’ve worked just fine, if the umps didn’t have to place a call to the Intergalactic Advisory Consulate on Baseball Rules & Regulations to get a final read on every disputed call.
- Hillary shifts the focus from Benghazi and email servers to the real issues facing the American people – Ha! Must be a missive from a parallel universe. If the Trump-meister has his way, he’ll keep riding that Benghazi bronc right into the ground while using his new Russian hacker-buddies to dig up more dirt on all those private emails. Isn’t Flixter a more reliable source for movie recommendations?
- The revitalization of downtown Akron marches on – Hey, only 15 abandoned buildings to go!
Every bar in America offers hand-crafted cocktails – I recently attended an event that featured one of these highly impersonal cocktail-making machines. Punch in your choice of libation, add a “splash” if you wish, and voilà – a more than acceptable mixed drink. Sure, I missed having some earnest hipster tell me where the bourbon was mashed, and I can’t help but admire a perfect sphere of ice. But sometimes you need the booze a lot more than the embellishments (and all that messy human interaction).
- Post-boomers begin to reject virtual reality and embrace actual reality – I really had high hopes for the next generation of Americans, until I found out about Pokémon Go. Then again, at least it’s bringing the kids out of the basement and into the great outdoors, where they can search for Poké-prey at the local cemetery like zombies clawing their way to a fresh kill.
The United Kingdom strengthens its role as a beacon of progressive thought and economic strength – Not really sure what happened there… I guess the Brits have their own homegrown demagogues to worry about.
- We finally turn the corner on gun violence, terrorism and racial intolerance – In just the few short weeks since I last posted on this site, we’ve been overwhelmed by the tragic events in Orlando, Baton Rouge, Minneapolis, Dallas, Nice, Istanbul, Syria… as well as the specter of the NRA’s favorite candidate becoming the next President of the United States. God help us.
- iTunes purchases Rubber City Review in multi-billion-dollar deal – I’m not giving up on this one. Call me, Mr. Cook!
Let’s remember the Stones in their prime – 1972… Exile on Main St… the same tour that landed at the Akron Rubber Bowl on July 11 of that year. I was there (somewhat impaired… but then again, so was the band).
Another uplifting commentary. It has been a rather depressing month. One question however. As a former bartender at a working class joint in Baltimore (in the 1960’s – way before it became known as Charm City???) what exactly is a hand crafted cocktail? I usually use other appendages when I’m stirring that martini for Mr. Bond! Good to see that you’re back.
Bravo on all fronts!!
Thanks Steve… I’ll remember not to order one of those the next time I’m in Baltimore.
Thanks Kurt!
Glad to see you’re back, Tim! The audio on the Stones link was great.
I’ve been investigating oldies that became hits for cover groups at roughly the same time (but not the old black-white thing like Pat Boone, Teresa Brewer, etc.) as the originals. The Shields had a huge hit with “You Cheated, You Lied” which was previously released by The Slades, and the Canadian group The Diamonds made off with the kudos after the original “Little Darlin'” was released by the Gladiolas. Interestingly, the writer and lead singer, Maurice Williams went on to join the Zodiacs to record the #1 hit “Stay” (the shortest song to hit the peak at 1:30).
Good to have you back too Mayor! I think 1:30 was the amount of time it took Jerry Garcia to tune his guitar in the middle of Dark Star.
All down the line. I’ve gone to many Stones shows over the years, none as good as that ’72 show. But they stayed damn good for a long time.
Didnt go to the last tour because frankly they just don’t have it any more , but probably for those who still havent seen them it works.
To have the video record of such bad ass artistry is pretty sweet.
Lovely to have you back Tim. Of course I can only really comment on the state of England. It’s desperate really. First of all a referendum should never be called on such a complicated issue as EU membership as let’s face it your average man on the street doesn’t have the time or inclination to educate and inform himself about the issues involved. This is why we elect MP’s. Secondly the “Out” campaign thought they had no chance of winning and peddled absolute nonsense and lies in the hope of appealing to the sort of people who clap, shout and jeer in the “X Factor” live audience. Basically the morons won. Which is where Trump worries me. I reckon he too didn’t think he’d win and came out with a load of old racist bollocks just because he could. But never underestimate the idiots in your own country. They are plentiful and they vote. On that cheery note I’m off to BBQ me some pork!
Thanks much Nik. The Trump phenomenon is truly amazing to watch. He’s had great success tossing out the most outrageous shit that pops into his head, so why stop now? I was glad to see his poll numbers drop given all the gaffes he made this week, but we ain’t out of the woods yet. It’s a scary time here in the States.