RCR Mailbag

What was your favorite Foo Fighters song from the HBO documentary Sonic Highways?

Well, they all pretty much sounded the same. I’m sure Dave Grohl was thinking, why change it up for New Orleans? This lame arena-rock seems to go over everywhere.

Your Rough Guide to the Rubber City failed to mention sauerkraut balls. I’m canceling my subscription to RCR.

I also forgot to mention the frozen custard at Pav’s Creamery. But I’m pretty excited about their new Kraut Kone.

Muddy, or Wolf?

That’s a tough one… Wolf hired Sumlin, but Muddy had Little Walter and Otis Spann. Then again, Wolf came up with a pretty cool soundtrack for Viagra. Can I get back with you on that?

Dude, what have you got against bro country? Did some Bubba kick your ass when you were a kid?

Hey, half my family is from Milledgeville, the Civil War capital of Georgia. I think the very first Bubba clawed his way out of some primordial bog just north of town. I know my Bubbas – drank their Bourbon, drove their ATVs, shot their guns, partied in their boats… Here’s the deal: The folks in central Georgia have good taste. They gave us Flannery O’Connor and Little Richard. They turned me on to The Allman Brothers Band. And once you’ve heard Duane, you simply have no use for Nashville bro country: One Way Out

Given the concerns raised by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu during his recent speech to a joint meeting of Congress, do you still believe President Obama should negotiate a nuclear deal with Iran?

I don’t believe we can broker a sustainable peace in the Middle East without considering Russia’s interests. But I’m still working my way through the third season of House of Cards… Can I email you after the final episode?

Hi, this is your webmaster Keena. I’ve noticed your post on the movie Chef has attracted an inordinate number of hits. Could it have anything to do with the photo of Scarlett Johansson on our home page?

Here’s a quick Google search of Scarlett Johansson images. Please apply these photos to all of our other posts.

A pathetic old fogey like you will never be able to grasp the epic awesomeness of Deadmau5, Skrillex or Aphex Twin. Why don’t you crawl back into your suburban man-cave, put some Supertramp on the hi-fi, make yourself a Sloe Gin Fizz and play with your Rubik’s Cube?

Dear Molly: Thank you for your interest in Rubber City Review. I appreciate your input on our editorial content and would like to send you a cassette tape featuring our favorite musical selections. Please fax me your address and I’ll be glad to ship it to you via U.S. Mail.

Lady Gaga, or Miley Cyrus?

Hmmm… They’re both bat-shit. But Gaga plays piano, and Miley sang the hell out of that Paul Simon tune. Can I mull this one over a little bit?

Jack White was a real dick to your nephew Dan. Has RCR declared war on him?

Nah, he remastered all those old Paramount blues recordings from the Twenties and Thirties, so we’ll give him a free pass (until his next album comes out).

We, the esteemed leaders of our fair community, are concerned about the continued migration of our best and brightest to urban locales in the southern U.S. As a longtime resident of this area, what do you feel should be done to reverse this trend?

It’s all about the weather stupid. Can you raise enough scratch to throw a dome over this joint? Maybe pump in some chill tunes and add a few grow houses for good measure?? If not, don’t sweat it… Those fair-weather folks don’t work that hard anyway.

I’m prepping for minimally invasive surgery in an intraoperative MRI suite. Should I begin with a narrow incision to reach the tumor, or perform craniotomy through precise stereotactic neuronavigation?

I’d go with the latter… sounds a little less invasive.

Paul McCartney, Kanye West and Rihanna… Need I say more?

No, you’ve said enough.

Can the Cavs finally get it done this year?

Once again, it will be difficult to reach our main objective without Russian involvement… in this case, a big white dude named Timofey.

Let’s remember Wolf for his virility, not yours…